What is the cringiest name you have seen/heard given to a child?

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After over a decade in public school classrooms, do I have a few for you. Here, in no particular order, are the ones I will never, ever forget.

1. Gina. Should be easy right? (Gee-na). Nope. Its pronounced Jai-na, as in the last two syllables of some lady bits.
2. La-a. (Laaaaa? you wonder…) Nope. La-dash-a. I always thought that this was a unique one I would never see again, but it turns out a doctor from Florida who responded to this post had a patient by the same name.
3. Dae 1 (The 1 was a superscript, like an exponent in a math equation). Yep. Day One.
4. Rainy Dae. Oh, and she later had a daughter she named Autumn. Autumn Dae.
5. Swinkels. (Swin-Kells) When you’re a young man from a rough neighborhood, you have a lot stacked against you already. A name like that certainly doesn’t help. This kid ended up in jail for murder.

Swinkels Laporte, Maxwell Wiggins, both of Springfield, found guilty of murdering Tracy Bennett

6. A pregnant 16 year old student who decided to name her son Dasani, because “it was unique and I craved it my whole pregnancy”.

Then there are the parents who LOOOOOVE a traditional name, but want to be ‘unique’ in the way they spell it. Here are some other, should be easy to spell but aren’t, names that I have seen over the years.

Megan - Mayghenne, Meaghiene

Brian - Bayrayan, Brienne (A young lady and yes, pronounced Brian and not Brianne)

Sara - In every possible combination you can think of.

Michael - Mykil, Mhykell, Mychael

There are a million more, but these are the best of the best.